Purity Bootcamp

Purity has been on my mind a lot lately since "Bootcamp"  I think I just need to vomit down some of the thoughts I've been having so I can recall them:

1. Purity reminds me of Daniel.  There were plenty of good food and things he could have partook of.  He could have said they were made for him to enjoy, but he chose to be set apart and 'holy'.  The other example given was Joseph and Potipher's wife.  The thought in the book, Every Man's Battle, that related this to me was the image of the man standing behind the woman at the bus stop.  When the wind blew her skirt up he turned around out of respect.  (for her, but also for his wife / God, etc.)  This was a picture of noble behavior, most people would agree. She couldn't control that.  The exact same behavior can apply to guys looking at women below the neck.  We should not allow ourselves to look.  Just because it is available to us and desirable, does not mean we should look at it.  We should be more honorable and not look out of respect.

2. Habit.  I have noticed in the last several months I don't dodge my eyes as much and started to let myself look longer at women's bodies.  That got me to thinking, though.  The main reason I struggle is when I SEE something that looks good (a woman that is revealing part of her body).  One mostly effective solution is to avoid SEEING that thing.  So by always darting my eyes and forcing myself not to look down her body, and by not going on websites that have stupid ad boxes, and by not watching tv or commercials, I can really reduce my temptation a lot.  It really does take a trigger to start that temptation, and running from that trigger can prevent issues.   

3.  The question that follows, though, is that good enough?  What if there is no heart change, if I still desire to sin?  This was an issue when I heard all the confessions and stories at "bootcamp".  Some of the stories I was kind of jealous of, even though the confessors were very regretful.  This was hard for me to deal with.  I mentioned this and they reacted by explaining with tears how negative the consequences were (also generational impacts), and that really helped me empathize and believe working hard for purity is worth it.  Worth it for me and for wife/kids, but a part of me still desires what they did (and they desired it, that's why they did it).  I kind of lumped the stories into a couple categories:  1.  Mostly heinous acts / abuses that were performed or witnessed.  These are clearly wrong and were heartbreaking to hear.  2.  Various deeds that were done between pre-marital couples.  These were things that were wrong because of the relationship, who and when they were done with.  If the same stories were told of a married relationship they would be ok.  I think I realized this when I heard a story of fondling a woman in the back seat of a car blah blah blah.  I first felt bad catching myself imagining I was in that story, but then I realized this time I was imagining my wife as the girl I was with...I don't think that is bad!  3. But how much I desire these things is really another point:

4.  Covet.  I heard a New York preacher Tim Keller talking about this.  10 commandments, its in there.    Do not commit adultery (and Jesus' modification, do not commit adultery in your heart) they are commands we are familiar with.  But how much do I overlook "Do not covet.  Do not covet your neighbor's wife, or his donkey (car, possessions, life, whatever)."  What a clear command that I violate way too often!  The message did mention that many of the other commandments are covered by moral law, most people of any religious background believe they are wrong.  But this one, do not covet, is not that universal or inherent.  The pastor even mentioned that it is ok to want things, but to covet is to want them too much, to want them more than anything else, to want them more than to honor God.  This is the exact scenario I am in when I am allowing myself to look at another woman's body.  Disobeying a clear instruction from God (multiple commandments even!)

5.  Dr. Jekyll Mr. Hyde sermon by Tim Keller .  Jekyll/Hyde is another great explanation of our human condition likely based of Romans (wretched man that I am...).  Two selves that are both genuinely me, the good one and the bad one.  The success comes from Christ where I can actually get to the point where the bad is not ME anymore...its still present, but it is not really me, what I am.  Then there is a description of the law.  The metaphor delivered was that the law was something that either made us want to sin more or caused us guilt by failure.  The metaphor of being "married" to the law provided no success, a situation impossible to win.  However, with the bride of Christ, the metaphor of being "married" to Christ, the law becomes a WAY to please God.  By voluntarily trying to obey the law, it becomes an ACT of our love displayed in our lives.  If I have this attitude, it is much easier to want to obey the law when I don't "want" to.

6.  Oswald Chambers daily devotion ties-in -  Oswald's view of the same topic, he hits on yielding, habits, lust, etc.  I like his definition of lust...  remember what lust is: "I must have it at once," whether it be the lust of the flesh or the lust of the mind

7.   Some relevant verses:  Jer 31:1 "I made a covenant with my eyes not to look at a woman lustfully", Romans - The entire book (particularly 7 and 8), 1 Cor 6 & 7, "flee from sexual immorality", "Everything is permissible, but I will not be mastered by anything",  "do not deprive each other...come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.  I say this as a concession, not a command.", Prov 5:18 "rejoice in the wife of your youth...may her breasts satisfy you always and may you ever be intoxicated with her love", Song of Songs, etc.