Prodigal Son's Older Brother

In my interest in happiness, joy, pleasure, purpose, etc,  I have identified jealous traits in myself that assure me the older brother in the prodigal son story is me.

I long to know how to remedy that.  I have found a few useful links:

http://www.desiringgod.org/sermons/the-blinding-effects-of-serving-god

This talk by John Piper focusses on the father's loving response in the story.  It is one of the few kind words Jesus has to Pharisees.  The conclusion I have is that I need to see God as a father, not a master giving commands.  It really comes down to trust/belief that He and his commands have my best interest at heart!  (lately I'm finding a lot of things come down to trust/belief...like the lust mentioned before...'God is better', etc.) I also need to understand more how sinful I am.  I don't know if I'm ready to ask, yet.

Some other points that are mildly related to this is the thought of happiness and pleasure.  If ignorance is bliss, then knowledge is sadness.  Again from Piper, this is true per these two 5 min messages:


http://www.desiringgod.org/interviews/does-happiness-require-apathy-to-others-sorrows
http://www.desiringgod.org/interviews/are-smart-people-less-happy


(a longer version that discusses "sorrowful, yet always rejoicing")
http://www.desiringgod.org/sermons/sorrowful-yet-always-rejoicing

TO BE CONTINUED...


So update a few hours later...

Purity Bootcamp

Purity has been on my mind a lot lately since "Bootcamp"  I think I just need to vomit down some of the thoughts I've been having so I can recall them:

1. Purity reminds me of Daniel.  There were plenty of good food and things he could have partook of.  He could have said they were made for him to enjoy, but he chose to be set apart and 'holy'.  The other example given was Joseph and Potipher's wife.  The thought in the book, Every Man's Battle, that related this to me was the image of the man standing behind the woman at the bus stop.  When the wind blew her skirt up he turned around out of respect.  (for her, but also for his wife / God, etc.)  This was a picture of noble behavior, most people would agree. She couldn't control that.  The exact same behavior can apply to guys looking at women below the neck.  We should not allow ourselves to look.  Just because it is available to us and desirable, does not mean we should look at it.  We should be more honorable and not look out of respect.

2. Habit.  I have noticed in the last several months I don't dodge my eyes as much and started to let myself look longer at women's bodies.  That got me to thinking, though.  The main reason I struggle is when I SEE something that looks good (a woman that is revealing part of her body).  One mostly effective solution is to avoid SEEING that thing.  So by always darting my eyes and forcing myself not to look down her body, and by not going on websites that have stupid ad boxes, and by not watching tv or commercials, I can really reduce my temptation a lot.  It really does take a trigger to start that temptation, and running from that trigger can prevent issues.   

3.  The question that follows, though, is that good enough?  What if there is no heart change, if I still desire to sin?  This was an issue when I heard all the confessions and stories at "bootcamp".  Some of the stories I was kind of jealous of, even though the confessors were very regretful.  This was hard for me to deal with.  I mentioned this and they reacted by explaining with tears how negative the consequences were (also generational impacts), and that really helped me empathize and believe working hard for purity is worth it.  Worth it for me and for wife/kids, but a part of me still desires what they did (and they desired it, that's why they did it).  I kind of lumped the stories into a couple categories:  1.  Mostly heinous acts / abuses that were performed or witnessed.  These are clearly wrong and were heartbreaking to hear.  2.  Various deeds that were done between pre-marital couples.  These were things that were wrong because of the relationship, who and when they were done with.  If the same stories were told of a married relationship they would be ok.  I think I realized this when I heard a story of fondling a woman in the back seat of a car blah blah blah.  I first felt bad catching myself imagining I was in that story, but then I realized this time I was imagining my wife as the girl I was with...I don't think that is bad!  3. But how much I desire these things is really another point:

4.  Covet.  I heard a New York preacher Tim Keller talking about this.  10 commandments, its in there.    Do not commit adultery (and Jesus' modification, do not commit adultery in your heart) they are commands we are familiar with.  But how much do I overlook "Do not covet.  Do not covet your neighbor's wife, or his donkey (car, possessions, life, whatever)."  What a clear command that I violate way too often!  The message did mention that many of the other commandments are covered by moral law, most people of any religious background believe they are wrong.  But this one, do not covet, is not that universal or inherent.  The pastor even mentioned that it is ok to want things, but to covet is to want them too much, to want them more than anything else, to want them more than to honor God.  This is the exact scenario I am in when I am allowing myself to look at another woman's body.  Disobeying a clear instruction from God (multiple commandments even!)

5.  Dr. Jekyll Mr. Hyde sermon by Tim Keller .  Jekyll/Hyde is another great explanation of our human condition likely based of Romans (wretched man that I am...).  Two selves that are both genuinely me, the good one and the bad one.  The success comes from Christ where I can actually get to the point where the bad is not ME anymore...its still present, but it is not really me, what I am.  Then there is a description of the law.  The metaphor delivered was that the law was something that either made us want to sin more or caused us guilt by failure.  The metaphor of being "married" to the law provided no success, a situation impossible to win.  However, with the bride of Christ, the metaphor of being "married" to Christ, the law becomes a WAY to please God.  By voluntarily trying to obey the law, it becomes an ACT of our love displayed in our lives.  If I have this attitude, it is much easier to want to obey the law when I don't "want" to.

6.  Oswald Chambers daily devotion ties-in -  Oswald's view of the same topic, he hits on yielding, habits, lust, etc.  I like his definition of lust...  remember what lust is: "I must have it at once," whether it be the lust of the flesh or the lust of the mind

7.   Some relevant verses:  Jer 31:1 "I made a covenant with my eyes not to look at a woman lustfully", Romans - The entire book (particularly 7 and 8), 1 Cor 6 & 7, "flee from sexual immorality", "Everything is permissible, but I will not be mastered by anything",  "do not deprive each other...come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.  I say this as a concession, not a command.", Prov 5:18 "rejoice in the wife of your youth...may her breasts satisfy you always and may you ever be intoxicated with her love", Song of Songs, etc.

Starting

Just need to start writing some thoughts down.  Need to start somewhere.

Just got done having a short convo with Aaron.  Several months ago he preached on the "pleasure" gospel, mentioning that so many of us are seeking the wrong things in life, and missing out.

I thought it was true, basic overview:  It is easy to see it in other people.  They go out to the bars on the weekend, go to the strip clubs, whatever...but is it much better for us "Christians"?  So many of us spend our time on watching tv, driving nice cars, living in nice houses, having barbecues, playing video games, playing sports, trying to live a comfortable life and avoid hardships.  Surely there is a benefit to doing things that are "moral" vs "immoral", but I think Aaron was asserting there is a call to do even more.  To seek the reward of storing up treasures in Heaven.

I wrestled with this for awhile.  Sure, I agree, I could see tv was not beneficial, and even a destructive force in my life, so I cut back.  I don't need to play video games, that was easy, I gave that up awhile ago.  I could handle simple meals, I don't need as much cookies and cake, even though I like them.  But I wanted to see the future state, I want to know where I am going to end up.  Should I stop playing soccer and do something that more directly furthers the kingdom?   Should I not play guitar, have barbecues, work on photography, play music, seek any pleasure?

Obviously pleasure is not wrong, but where does this pleasure gospel end?

Aaron mentioned some good things:
1. Sometimes ministry/good things need to be done even if we don't feel like it
2. God does motivate us with treasures in heaven for a reason (he agreed with pastor Mark there)
3. Like the feeding of the 5000 passage, Jesus said we were not meant just to eat.
4. Aaron does not think it is good to just live our lives to survive and then die.
5. God made pleasure and wants us to be happy on earth.
6. We can find joy and happiness in the right things.

Now to find some scripture that helps flush this out more.